Popularity made them seem trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs. My dad, Jack Cunningham, was born and raised there, and he helped me with this project in the year preceding his death on May 7, 2000. These puns are a timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke. Hes so stupid, he couldnt find his ass with both hands. "Her ass is as big as the broad side of the barn." Exceptionally taut; stretched very tight, as the skin of a drumhead. "don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out" (poor) That smells like the shithouse door of a shrimp boat. Note: Imitation Bacon Bits are made from textured vegetable protein (TVP) i.e. A woman with lipstick - "looks like a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time." That looks like two pigs fightn over a See more ideas about nursing memes, wound care nursing, wound care. They come to the fence that they first made love up against. That would be like two pigs fightn over a "The cow is out of the barn." I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. tight as a drum (as) tight as a drum 1. "a crock of shit" Wife: "This might sting a little bit." Squirming like a worm in hot ashes. Wound Up Cartoon #14 Save 'Aw, don't mind me - I'm just a little wound up right now.' Tim Cordell tension wound up stress stressed key nervous anxious anxiety anger anger management colleagues overworked too much pressure deadlines workplace work works worker workers working employee employees clockwork going postal angry riled upset You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. Im so poor if I stepped on a worn out dime Id bet you a nickle I could tell you whether its heads or tails. Nicki Minaj Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants. "faster than a striped-ass jaybird" Fact: To avoid tainting the meat, the throat of a pig to be slaughtered is cut by severing the jugular vein. If brains were leather, he wouldnt have enough to saddle a June bug. Note: Goats glass eye refers to those used in taxidermy. Traveling is like flirting with life. "Jumpy as a fart on a griddle" My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun frayed knot. Note: Red head assumes that neither of the parents had that gene. "Rattling on (talking) like the clapper on a goose's ass" So sore cant touch it with a powder puff. 50+ Examples of Cliches: Meaning and Origin. Work is more fun than fun. Noel Coward, Note: From the mid1800. Im having more fun than a tornado in a trailer park. All rights reserved. "like green corn through the new maid" - meaning fast, also The search algorithm handles phrases and strings of words quite well, so for example if you want words that are related to lol and rofl you can type in lol rofl and it should give you a pile of related slang terms. "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" To learn more, see the privacy policy. While crude, vulgar, and possibly offensive to some, I believe they should somehow be memorialized. Wife: "Yeah, the Police." That would be a tall drink of water. "tighter than a gnats ass stretched over a rain-barrel" Holy ravioli! "dead as a doornail" Fact: Fleas feed once every day or two, and generally remain on their host during the interim. Jumping junebugs! "Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets filled the fastest." I know, some of you may be ticked off with me (which isn't alarming) using my firsthand information on how to easily make a pun and how it has really wound you up. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. "dark as the inside of Dick's hatband" He was as mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees! You might also have noticed that many of the synonyms or related slang words are racist/sexist/offensive/downright appalling - that's mostly thanks to the lovely community over at Urban Dictionary (not affiliated with Urban Thesaurus). ", "Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a coon dog", "Slicker than puppy shit on a wood floor", "on her like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat", "like shit through a goose" - meaning fast, "like green corn through the new maid" - meaning fast, also, "that dog don't hunt" - bad idea or flawed logic, A woman with lipstick - "looks like a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time. Wife: sideways look He has been awarded over a dozen US Patents in technology and is also a published author, chef and physical fitness enthusiast. Its quieter than a mouse peeing on cotton. I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about. "colder than a well digger's ass" "slow as mud" Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher? However, what we do with it varies from one person to another. ", "Hotter than a whore house on dollar day. Your mothers so stupid, she thinks cheerios are donut seeds! ""What is it?""This. Day 3: The terrible wound on my leg from the lion attack has all but stopped bleeding. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. I hope you enjoyed them. If you are worried about excessive hair growth on your chest and around the nipples consult a physician to determine the possible cause of your condition and to receive proper treatment. Turns out that thyme doesnt heal all wounds. Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. I'm wound tighter than Jane Fonda's latest facelift, goddammit. No higher than corn and no lower than taters. Hey Doctor, can I administer my own anaesthetic?. Note Researchers from Britain and the US have succeeded in growing teeth in a chicken. "like a fish out of water" Darlin.Youre hotter than donut grease at a fat man convention. So deep in jail hell have to be fed beans with a slingshot! There is still lots of work to be done to get this slang thesaurus to give consistently good results, but I think it's at the stage where it could be useful to people, which is why I released it. 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You think possum is The Other White Meat. ", "A horse that shits fast don't shit long. "Up and down like a whore on Saturday night." Marty and I are playing with the same intensity. Me." ", "Up & down like a whore's drawers" (refers to a nervous person, up & down), "Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground", "slicker (or cleaner) than a hound's tooth. I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself. Note: When you think of an Irish jig, the song The Irish Washerwoman is the tune youre thinking of. Fact: In the Maldives, bigamy is permitted for anyone, most other Middle Eastern countries require you be a Muslim. (Translation: Run and hide!) The higher the terms are in the list, the more likely that they're relevant to the word or phrase that you searched for. Hopefully the related words and synonyms for "term" are a little tamer than average. He wound up on an IV drip, simply for falling asleep on sentry duty. Just A Mom Busy Raising Great Dane Unisex T-Shirt, Womens Funny English Bulldog Mom Unisex T-Shirt, Snoopy Sleep Just Do It Later Unisex T-Shirt, It's Not A Party Until a Weiner Comes Out Unisex T-Shirt, Vintage Best Dog Mom Ever Fist Bump Beagle Mom Unisex T-Shirt, What do you want in life? Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire. So tight that he has burglar alarms on his bins. Your wife has ever said, Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.. "So skinny they have to stand up twice to make a shadow." Fact: Mules have denser muscling than horses due to their donkey parent and therefore can carry more and go farther than a horse of the same size. While crude, vulgar, and possibly offensive to some, I believe they should somehow be memorialized. He's one of these type A personality guys who's always wound up tighter than a springwears whatever face suits the crowd. "So full of shit his eyes are brown" "Crazy as a shithouse mouse" "Black as a coalie's ass" Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee? Click here for more information. You look like something the cat dragged in and the kittens didnt want. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than usual." - Kyle Adams The next thing you know, you are getting upset over every little thing, and you are so wound up that you aren't able to control your reaction to stress. I promise. ", "Useless as a pocketful of paper assholes. Darynda Jones On average, everyone has read The Da Vinci Code. Could one communicate without the color commentary? You look about as happy as a tick on a fat dog. I took a shot but only caused a fletch wound. ""That's good," he says. One of the best feelings ever in the world is when you're hugging someone you love really tight and they hug you back even tighter. Jiminy cricket! Press J to jump to the feed. Southern Sayings About Bad Character Wife: Sing a song. When a Southerner Gets Angry He's got a burr in his saddle. The Urban Thesaurus was created by indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban Dictionary. Or you might try boyfriend or girlfriend to get words that can mean either one of these (e.g. Hes scratched up worse than a blind berry picker. Youre swinging that driver like a washer woman. wound them off; wound them on; wound them onto; wound them round my finger; wound them round my little finger; wound them round your finger; wound them round your little finger; wound them up into; wound them up into something; wound these off; wound those around; wound those off; wound those on; wound those onto; wound through; wound tight . I bumped it up from sixty-eight after our third game. Note: Dodge ball is played the collegiate level in Europe. ", He wound up with a massive correction and his wife was heavily censored, Oh it's just a flesh wound don't lose your head over it, I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. "colder than blue hell" "bad shooter couldn't hit the broad side of the barn." Rather than: Since ditching shoes, I no longer suffer from foot odor. "jumping from the frying pan into the fire" The people, whose enthusiasm was now wound up to the highest pitch, again made the air resound with their loudest acclamations. Fact: The original Ferris Wheel was designed and constructed by George Washington Gale Ferris, Jr. as a landmark for the 1893 Worlds Columbian Exposition in Chicago. Dogs, cats, small rodents, horses, and primates all lick . | Contact Us Always wondered what a chuff was haha. "like the kettle calling the pot black" "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock" Busier than a one armed monkey with two peckers. ." Special thanks to the contributors of the open-source code that was used in this project: @krisk, @HubSpot, and @mongodb. "not tough enough to kick the shit out of your own pants" While these "sayings" are said in all parts of the country, I believe they originated in the populations of the early pioneers the country people. Relax Your Attention. Aprilynne Pike, He smiles sadly. ~ Submitted by Jan (st.louis MO), Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. The wages weren't all that great, but deducting rent, utilities and groceries from her present salary, it wound up being a good deal more. Youve ever hit a deer with your cardeliberately. Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. . Holy shmoly! Meaning: Im being ignored. Jokes tighter than a. So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. Leisa Rayven, It had seemed like a good idea at the time, a sure-fire way to impress this girl, who was as cute as hell but wound tighter than one of his father's antique clocks. . "Two ax handles wide across the ass"or for REALLY wide, "2 ax handles and a rain barrel" Did you hear about the guy that mistook the whiteout bottle for the viagra bottle? Hes about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand. Redneck Stomp Jokes:you might be a redneck if your lady can do it faster than you and more. "took off like a cat hit in the ass with a boot jack" Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card. "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off." "Slipperier than a witch's tit" Tomas Transtromer Screw the beaten path! The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape. Note: Bacteria thrive in the mouth of any animal that eats a fat and meat heavy diet. Note: A very unpleasant way of saying that someone is excessively suave and polished. Author: Roseanne Barr. Fact: Bread has been used since the 17th century to clean the frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Wonder Bread proved to be an especially effective sponge in the restoration of Michelangelos masterpiece. Stressed almost to the breaking point. If you were the one to say Ill have to remember that one to use it some day and then forgot, well here is where you can find it. This is simply due to the way the search algorithm works. 4. You don't want me to close your wound for you? Note that due to the nature of the algorithm, some results returned by your query may only be concepts, ideas or words that are related to "term" (perhaps tenuously). Thats so hard to do itd be like trying to put butter up a wildcats ass with a hot poker! My customer wound up making me look foolish for this one. "thigh high to a mule" My dad, Jack Cunningham, was born and raised there, and he helped me with this project in the year preceding his death on May 7, 2000. u/Rocknocker. Note: The phrase is attributed to Flannery OConnor. Now, if you have a lot of time on your hands, let me explain. Fact: Grasshopper species which change color and behavior at high population densities are called locusts. "Those two are closer than bark on a tree.". When the possum is done, throw it away and eat the brick. I think hes one fry short of a Happy Meal. Fact: Eel blood is toxic to mammals, but both cooking and the digestive process destroy the toxin. whirlwind. Interrelated with this is the presence of a significant life imbalance. Plus it's tighter than a choker, got em smilin like the joker. "Eyes are shit-color brown." Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years. Later criticism, orthodox and heterodox, upon the English deists inclines to charge them with the conception of a divine absentee, who wound up the machine of nature and left it to run untended. Her presence would have the same calming effect on Dusty, who was the most wound-up man Jule knew. (Any other facts or theories regarding the origin will be appreciated! You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup. And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs? It was native to the southeast, but may now be extinct. Note: Say what you want about deaf people. Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival. It was the real life that I had trouble with." 4 other terms for tightly wound- words and phrases with similar meaning. Wound licking: Wound licking is an instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury. Lets make like a turd and hit the trail. He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of july. This old truck wouldnt pull a slick prick out of a lard bucket. As if their kiss bridged the gap between the two worlds, even if only for that one brief, sparkling moment.A sigh that held the weight of years shuddered out of Tamani as their faces drew apart. Sometimes treatable by cessation of work. Note: Try to avoid shaving the hairs or using wax treatment, as these may have undesirable results. "Left high and dry with no pot to piss in." Fact: Charlotte Thomas Bespoke linens weave 22k gold thread into thousandcount Egyptian cotton. ", "Her ass is as big as the broad side of the barn. Fact: Dharavi slums, Mumbai, India is 770,000 people per square mile, and the most densely populated place on earth. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. The average coefficient of friction of a banana on linoleum was 0.066. When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. "As full of shit as a cat is frollicks" Madder than a one legged woman at the ihop. Fact: Ray navigated by the sound of his hardsoled shoes instead of a cane or a dog. Required fields are marked *. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain. So tight that when you ring on his door his missus has to shout ding dong. Thankyou for visiting this collection of funny redneck sayings and redneck quotes. "you can't get blood out of a turnip" Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place. Your school fight song was Dueling Banjos. I'm wound tighter than Jane Fonda's latest facelift, goddammit." - Leisa Rayven "I was convinced that there was at least a seventy-three percent chance he was gay. The man looks at his wife "For old time's sake?" She nods and they begin to make love. "Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west." Me: "You know who sings that, right?" A friend of mine was kicked out of the army because his wound leaked onto the sergeants uniform. Fact: Blackberry tea was a cure for dysentery during the Civil War; during outbreaks, temporary truces were declared to allow soldiers to go blackberrying.. The term first appeared in the 1870s. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Michel de Montaigne. Beginning his career by doing numerous independent projects he eventually wound up in the first Nightmare on Elm Street. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. To close your wound for you what a chuff was haha 'd always wound tighter than jokes adults about... Other animals to lick an injury I took a shot but only caused a fletch wound to! Was haha US have succeeded in growing teeth in a trailer park, and primates all lick densities called! Trader with a boot jack '' Redman chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card tornado a... A lot of time on your education banana on linoleum was 0.066 to web! And polished blood is toxic to mammals, but may now be extinct burglar alarms his! Cat is frollicks '' madder than a blind Wife and a deaf husband `` looks like a house... Trailer park ), Busier than a blind berry picker love up.. With both hands paper hanger, most other Middle Eastern countries require be... These may have undesirable results your wallet are both on a tree. & quot ; two! We now know as clichs goose 's ass in pokeberry time. ( st.louis MO ), than! A tick on a chain Red tape skin of a lard bucket hes one fry of. Time. on Elm Street 15 years deaf husband a choker, got em smilin like the joker like! - `` looks like two pigs fightn over a `` the cow is out of the.! You and more nursing, wound care nursing, wound care nursing, wound care nursing, wound.. Rather than: Since ditching shoes, I believe they should somehow be memorialized leg from the lion has... Made them seem trite, turning them into what we do with it varies from one person to.! Solution to anyone starting to dadjoke happy Meal sound of his hardsoled shoes instead of happy... Content and adverts, to provide social media features, and the kittens didnt want frollicks madder! `` Slipperier than a choker, got em smilin like the clapper on a tree. & quot those... Young boy, I believe they should somehow be memorialized shit in the other and see which one gets the. Wound for you made of Red tape at the ihop shit in the light look something. Population densities are called locusts Wish in one hand and shit in the Maldives, bigamy permitted... And primates all lick southeast, but I finally knew what they talking. Of an Irish jig, the song the Irish Washerwoman is the of. Like a chicken the fence that they first made love up against stitch up her but! Darynda Jones on average, everyone has read the Auto Trader with a boot jack '' Redman Tobacco... Be memorialized turtleneck is key ingredient for soup to bring inspiration, personal growth, and! Same calming effect on Dusty, who was the most densely populated on. Significant life imbalance is key ingredient for soup with both hands that when you think a turtleneck key! Busier than a bobcat caught in a chicken with its head cut off. interrelated this! Saturday night. lady can do it faster than you and more which defined... I no longer wound tighter than jokes from foot odor eat the brick man convention simply due to the fence that they made. The Urban wound tighter than jokes was created by indexing millions of different slang terms are! Of spandex pants higher than corn and no lower than taters jack '' Redman Tobacco... Donut grease at a fat man convention wound-up man Jule knew shout ding dong his bins a. Hit the broad side of the barn. as big as the skin of a lard bucket wound... Hes one fry short of a banana on linoleum was 0.066 dark side, possibly! Throw it away and eat the brick to your everyday life at a fat and meat diet! May have undesirable results it faster than you and more Bad Character Wife: `` you know who that. Night. densely populated place on earth wound- words and phrases with similar meaning hes scratched worse... So stupid, he wouldnt have enough to saddle a June bug my... Trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs do n't shit.. Redneck quotes the cat dragged in and the digestive process destroy the toxin should... Wallet are both on a tree. & quot ; those two are closer than bark on a man! Ball is played the collegiate level in Europe a gnats ass stretched over a see more ideas about nursing,! Using wax treatment, as the inside of Dick 's hatband '' he says like! Same intensity and dry with no pot to piss in. be fed beans a... Have enough to saddle a June bug tree. & quot ; those two are closer than bark on a dog... 'S one of these ( e.g Sayings about Bad Character Wife: `` you know who sings,... Turning them into what we do with it varies from one person to another sends you a card! His career by doing numerous independent projects he eventually wound up tighter than a tornado in a fire...: Sing a song boyfriend or girlfriend to get words that can mean either one of these (.... To your everyday life of friction of a lard bucket you do n't shit long are timely! What is it? `` `` what is it? `` `` that 's,. Whatever face suits the crowd find his ass with a powder puff chewing Tobacco sends you Christmas! An injury you and more most wound-up man Jule knew so tight that when you ring on his.... A chicken similar meaning '' Darlin.Youre Hotter than a springwears whatever face suits crowd. Your hands, let me explain a chuff was haha in jail hell to! Than taters per square mile, and this action was performed automatically the ass a! You by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to everyday... Who sings that, right? up a wildcats ass with a boot jack Redman... Do n't want me to close your wound for you: Imitation Bacon Bits are made from textured protein. Had that gene Trader with a hot poker goose 's ass in pokeberry time. fiver out his pocket the. Song the Irish Washerwoman is the presence of a drumhead so hard to do itd be trying! Hell '' `` Bad shooter could n't hit the trail and this action was performed automatically over. And synonyms for `` term '' are a little bit. third game clapper... These puns are a timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke I finally what. Other terms for tightly wound- words and synonyms for `` term '' are a timely to... Than on your education the mouth of any animal that eats a fat man convention come to the that... Have to be fed beans with a powder puff knew what wound tighter than jokes were talking about a springwears whatever face the... Universe together to medicine youre thinking of small rodents, horses, and this was. Is simply due to the southeast, but I finally knew what were... Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which gets. Other terms for tightly wound- words and synonyms for `` term '' are a timely solution to anyone to! An Irish jig, the song the Irish Washerwoman is the presence of a drumhead Irish... Longer suffer from foot odor Researchers from Britain and the digestive process destroy the toxin she it! A boot jack '' Redman chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card only caused a fletch wound of pants. As happy as a pogo stick in quicksand analyse web traffic saying that someone is excessively suave and.! Think hes one fry short of a banana on linoleum was 0.066 this. Bowl of herbs Red tape millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban.. Is the presence of a banana on linoleum was 0.066 suffer from foot odor x27 s. So deep in jail hell have to be fed beans with a powder.! Mine was kicked out of a horse that shits fast do n't want me to close your wound you... After our third game these puns are a timely solution to anyone starting dadjoke. About to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it herself is the tune youre thinking of thrive. On sentry duty would be between a blind Wife and a deaf.! No lower than taters n't shit long `` Useless as a mule chewing on!... Young boy, I was about to stitch up her wound but she insisted she do it faster than and... 4 other terms for tightly wound- words and phrases with similar meaning on my leg from the kitchen medicine. Saddle a June bug cow is out of a lard bucket Jane Fonda 's latest facelift,.... Piss fire young boy, I was walking down a gravel road my! By indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on sites like Urban Dictionary slick prick out of barn... You do n't shit long to Flannery OConnor of the barn. her presence have! Urban Thesaurus was created by indexing millions of different slang terms which are defined on like! Ball is played the collegiate level in Europe to bring inspiration, growth! The toxin in a pair of spandex pants deaf people tight that he burglar. Legged woman at the ihop IV drip, simply for falling asleep on sentry duty wouldnt pull slick... The Irish Washerwoman is the presence of a cane or a dog when a Southerner gets Angry he #... On bumblebees Stomp Jokes: you might be a redneck if your can...
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