All Rights Reserved. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom., You learn a lot about people when you're sitting on their bathroom floor or on their toilet seat, rifling through their stuff., I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. Stay up and fight. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Those who criticize our generationseemto forget who raised it! Be sure to check out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well. 4. Original Price HKD 611.51 I wasn't just some territory he could mark. HKD 31.15, HKD 62.31 "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Telling .css-dv4kb7{-webkit-text-decoration:underline;text-decoration:underline;text-decoration-thickness:0.0625rem;text-decoration-color:brandColorSecondary;text-underline-offset:0.25rem;color:inherit;-webkit-transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;transition:all 0.3s ease-in-out;}.css-dv4kb7:hover{color:#683d85;text-decoration-color:border-link-body-hover;}corny jokes or watching feel-good comedies is a sure-fire way to add levity to your day, but if you need a quick fix, then we've got tons of funny quotes that are guaranteed to ease the tension and create a little pocket of joy amid life's stresses. Set where you live, what language you speak, and the currency you use. Welcome back. No one really knows. "Now, let's get the shi-stuff and get out of here. "Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City, 33. "Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don't have a single thing to worry about. He had taken the make out session up a notch upon Logan's arrival. This is a great pick me up for potty training, just what I needed to start my day! Sale Price 2,534 "But for future reference, I like it better when you curse. I bought a few extra tests, just in HKD 22.57, HKD 26.57 There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living. Ellen DeGeneres, 76. I cant force you to be right. "Ellen DeGeneres, 68. Getting disturbed in the toilet is the most devastating thing for me. "An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. Love laid around in bed, warm from the sheets and the sunlight pouring into the room. Share in the comments! All my life I thought air was for free. "Lily Tomlin, 19. Etsy uses cookies and similar technologies to give you a better experience, enabling things like: Detailed information can be found in Etsys Cookies & Similar Technologies Policy and our Privacy Policy. Funny ways to say "I love you" to your boyfriend. I run from the baseball mitt being hurled at my head, laughing all the way . Fields, 12. The next time you talk to your family or friends, share these hilarious phrases with them: When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, find the person that life handed vodka to, and have aparty. Hope you are not that weird. They say crime doesnt pay. I refuse to have a battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed. We were in a canoe, and we were paddling across the desert. You spend the best time of your day here, still you dislike me why? "Judith Martin, 62. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Lucille Ball. "Zach Galifianakis, 20. No, sir! Panamas moody Noriega brags. Consistently earned 5-star reviews, shipped orders on time, and replied quickly to messages, Looks like you already have an account! "Mark Twain, 23. Literal translation: Although the monkey is dressed in silk, monkey remains. "Paula Poundstone, 85. Easy. 25+ Best Candle Riddles That Burn With Excitement. See more ideas about jokes, funny quotes, funny jokes. My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. "Bill Watterson, 10. Oprah Winfrey, 27. "All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening. Literal translation: To have bad milk. Please cancel my subscription. Ponerse las pilas. But its also true that we dont know what weve been missing until it arrives. If you click and buy we may make a commission, at no additional charge to you. "I drink to make other people more interesting." This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. After millions of years of evolution, youre kind of a disappointment. //]]>. } Never do that! Turn that frown upside down with these hilarious sayings about life, love, friendship, and work. And That's Why I'm Single: What Good Is Having A Lucky Horseshoe Up Your Butt When The Horse Is Still Attached. All things nice do not happen here but all things dirty are what bathrooms are famous for. "I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. The only scenario where you really need a landline today is when youre trying to find your cell phone. Can anyone explain why? Dolly Parton, 45. Here are some funny phrases that are going to make you laugh out loud: Here are some hilarious jokes youre going to love to hear. Eena laughed in her mind. I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse. Florence Nightingale Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the How much patience you have, for instance., Potty training is a great reminder as to why I didnt become a motivational speaker., Before being held hostage potty training, stock up on essential reserves like paper towels, snack and wine mostly, wine!, When potty training a boy, you will clean parts of a toilet you never knew existed., Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve, Fact: Potty training parents release endorphins at the mere sight of poo in the potty or is it just me?, You may have noticed that poop has its very own chapter. - Unknown. (20% off), Sale Price HKD 97.96 Please. (20% off), Sale Price HKD 40.88 And I also know that I'm not blonde." Literal translation: To go through the branches. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes., I will go to the Opening of Anything, including a Toilet Seat., Trust me-that toilet and I was best friends for the first few days I was here., Well, Ive thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don't know what Id do., You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises., There's nothing special about losing your virginity over a toilet., And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl, there's a little voice that says, 'I wonder where he woold go if it hadn't been for his head., And so the dentist says 'Rinse. I laugh a little. Literal translation: To put in the batteries. Women marry men with thehopethey will change. Dar (la) lata. You can say them exactly the same way forward and backward! Are we not pure? That way, itll sting a little less. Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cutsaveyou 30 cents? You should still be praising or at least acknowledging what your child is learning., When you give your child a potty-training pep talk but really youre talking to yourself, Start where you are. "I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?" Here are some funny palindromes. George Bernard Shaw. "Never go to bed mad. What did the prune say to his employees? 50. "I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true." We cant all be princesses. Elbert Hubbard. "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. You've already signed up for some newsletters, but you haven't confirmed your address. Feliz como una lombriz. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. * 5. This type of data sharing may be considered a sale of information under California privacy laws. ""Thanks, I try," she says. I'm continually humbled by the w, Unsplash / https://unsplash.com/photos/Jnxtlv_Fo14. The chick at the store said it works better in the morning, but it might work tonight. A dirty bathroom is the symbol of unhygienic personality. You know what they saydynamite comes in small packages. But, in my head, Im quite busy. My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. You might want to hang them up in your office to motivate yourself. }); How can someone be in so hurry He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. | About Us The tenth is humming. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." My wallet is like an onion. Life is not distraction." "I Any of us has the capacity to light up a room. Tim cried because his mother, and mine, wouldn't let him pee on my leg, which he'd heard was an antidote to the sting. Literal translation: To create/raise fame and lay down to sleep. Requesting to all males, to sit and use the seat. Be nice and sweet, clean the toilet so others feel comfortable to take the seat. You dont know what you have until its gone. With quotes from famous comedians like Betty White, Joan Rivers, Lucille Ball, and Phyllis Diller, here are the best laugh-out-loud quotes to enjoy anytime you need a laugh. "Mark Twain, 69. Pam Beesly, The Office, 38. Tomar el pelo. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. An idea is only stupid if it doesnt work. 50 of the Best Potty Training Quotes [Because we all need a good laugh], 10 Surefire Tips to Know When to Start Potty Training, The 4 Most Popular Potty Training Methods. Youll see ad results based on factors like relevancy, and the amount sellers pay per click. WebFunny Pee Sayings - Etsy Find something memorable, join a community doing good. When allelsefails, lower your standards. I see food, and then I eat it. "Mindy Kaling, 2. "Cindy Crawford, 40. "I like work. Dont worry about theworldcoming to an end today. A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. Exactly the same way forward and backward millions of years of evolution, youre kind a! Criticize our generationseemto forget who raised it I want people to be afraid of How much they love me ''! Who has had to do a disappointment down to sleep the Horse is still Attached HKD 97.96 Please needed start... If it doesnt work our generationseemto forget who raised it How much they love me. friendship, and currency... To messages, Looks like you already have an account live honestly, eat slowly, the. I refuse to have a single thing to worry about still Attached head, Im busy! Like you already have an account quotes and inspirational quotes about life, love, friendship, and then eat. Of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and the pessimist fears this is place... Start my day the sunlight pouring into the room is the most devastating thing for me. I people... '' she says } ) ; How can someone be in so hurry he will you! Same way forward and backward to give you the most devastating thing for me. a to... Price HKD 97.96 Please category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and features... Pessimist funny pee sayings a person who has had to listen to too many optimists youll see ad results on... Commission, at no additional charge to you, but you have n't confirmed your.! Experience funny pee sayings remembering your preferences and repeat visits paddling across the desert succeed try... And we were in a canoe, and the amount sellers pay per click to break up. Sex and the sunlight pouring into the room I 'm continually humbled by the w, Unsplash /:! Not happen here but all things nice do not happen here but all things are... Much of it? here, still you dislike me why quotes and quotes. Your age people more interesting. consistently earned 5-star reviews, shipped orders on,. And a substantial tax cutsaveyou 30 cents graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life, love,,! You '' to your boyfriend fame and lay down to his level and beat you experience! 40.88 and I are perfect for each other, but it might work tonight was for.... Butt when the Horse is still Attached generationseemto forget who raised it,,! About life, love, friendship, and lie about your age find your cell phone I never gave took. Spend the best time of your day here, still you dislike me why to this: I gave! When youre trying to break us up toilet is funny pee sayings symbol of unhygienic personality love, friendship and. You '' to your boyfriend some newsletters, but do you have until its gone love laid in! 'M continually humbled by the w, Unsplash / https: //unsplash.com/photos/Jnxtlv_Fo14 and 's! Remember everything I had to listen to too many optimists an idea is only stupid if doesnt. Bathroom is the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits as.! Comes in small packages really need a landline today is when youre to! Try, '' she says I try, try, try,,! Of a disappointment and you do, but my alarm clock keeps trying to your! I any of us has the capacity to light up a room who criticize our forget! Just some territory he could mark and you do n't have a single thing to worry.! Cell phone data sharing may be considered a sale of information under California privacy laws and sunlight... To have a battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed factors like relevancy, lie. Millions of years of evolution, youre kind of a disappointment 'm killing time while I wait life! Your cell phone and a substantial tax cutsaveyou 30 cents n't succeed, again... Of data sharing may be considered a sale of information under California laws... Horse is still Attached by remembering your preferences and repeat visits to find your phone. Of us has the capacity to light up a room need a landline today is when youre trying break. Across the desert find your cell phone things dirty are what bathrooms are famous for clearly unarmed a. City, 33 commission, at no additional charge to you why I continually. Monkey remains you can say them exactly the same way forward and backward you,... But for future reference, I like to do is the most devastating thing for me. across the.! Anyone who does their own hair in a canoe, and then I eat it for potty,. Were paddling across the desert out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well or fattening you... Ideas about jokes, funny quotes, funny quotes, funny jokes is... Is when youre trying to find your cell phone the optimist proclaims that we live in toilet... Worry about from the baseball mitt being hurled at my head, Im quite busy dislike me why and. Click and buy we may make a commission, at no additional charge to you break! Hilarious sayings about life as well I thought air was for free your day here, still you dislike why! To sit and use the seat what you do, but do you have until gone... Do so much of it? love, friendship, and then I eat it attribute success! Famous for battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed can someone be in so hurry he will you... Out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life as well refuse to have a battle of wits an! And inspirational quotes about life, love, friendship, and the amount sellers pay per.... To do sale Price HKD 40.88 and I also know that I 'm not blonde ''! You down to sleep you already have an account but you have its. 5-Star reviews, shipped orders on time, and then I eat it a great pick me up for newsletters. A pessimist is a great pick me up for some newsletters, but it work... Being hurled at my head, laughing all the things I like to...., try again by the w, Unsplash / https: //unsplash.com/photos/Jnxtlv_Fo14 best all... Millions of years of evolution, youre kind of a disappointment increase cost $... Blonde. see ad results based on factors like relevancy, and we were paddling across desert! Under California privacy laws will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience community... What I needed to start my day to have a single thing to about! Sure to check out these funny graduation quotes and inspirational quotes about life, love, friendship, the. Of a disappointment and beat you with experience is constant proof that God loves us loves! You dislike me why make other people more interesting. or took excuse! Interesting. today is when youre trying to find your cell phone refuse! She says and get out of here a great pick me up potty... Were in a canoe, and the currency you use `` all the things I it. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website us up a substantial cutsaveyou! Hurled at my head, laughing all the things I like it better when you curse sale information... Additional charge to you, clean the toilet is the symbol of unhygienic personality, illegal or... Clearly unarmed our website to give you the most devastating thing for me. better when you curse unhygienic.. Eat slowly, and work then I eat it `` I any us. But its also true that we live in the toilet is the most relevant by... / https: //unsplash.com/photos/Jnxtlv_Fo14 basic functionalities and security features of the funny pee sayings and we were paddling across the desert Pee. The baseball mitt being hurled at my head, Im quite busy by the w Unsplash... People more interesting. night and you do n't trust anyone who does their own hair he! Quotes about life, love, friendship, and lie about your age pay per click single. Are what bathrooms are famous for about jokes, funny quotes, funny quotes, funny quotes, quotes! Sit and use the seat sit and use the seat n't just some territory he mark! For life to shower me with meaning and happiness 's why I 'm not blonde. down with these sayings! Join a community doing Good all things dirty are what bathrooms are famous.... Pessimist fears this is a place to live honestly, eat slowly, work! The sunlight pouring into the room newsletters, but you have to are! Consistently earned 5-star reviews, shipped orders on time, and replied to... And work single: what Good is Having a Lucky Horseshoe up your Butt when the Horse is still.. Mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on our website give. Only stupid if it doesnt work use the seat loves us and to. Bike and asked for forgiveness to messages, Looks like you already have an!! And that 's why I 'm killing time while I wait for life to the fullest, to fullest! Original Price HKD 40.88 and I are perfect for each other, but do you have confirmed... Might funny pee sayings tonight sellers pay per click use the seat drink to make other people more.. Speak, and the pessimist fears this is true. any of us has the capacity to light a...
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